Quantum entangled deflated footballs explain why Colts scored only seven points

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Footballs that are under inflated are easier to grip, catch, and carry. They might have helped New England quarterback Tom Brady throw more accurate passes; they might have made it easier for his receivers to catch them; and they might have decreased the possibility that New England ball carriers fumbled. In sum, ignoring talent, practice, effort, and play calling, the balls alone might explain New England's scoring 45 points.

But they don't explain why Indianapolis scored only seven points. To put it in perspective, that's a score so low that even the Green Bay Packers would have beaten them.

But Thomas Wheeler, an Indianapolis quantum physicist, believes that he's solved the mystery. The the Indianapolis footballs became quantum entangled with the deflated New England fooballs.

Quantum entanglement is a physical phenomenon that occurs when pairs or groups of particles interact in ways that cause them to no longer behave independently. Scientists have been applying quantum entanglement to solve problems in computing, cryptography and even teleportation, but all prior efforts have involved small numbers of entangled atomic particles, usually just a pair at a time. No one has entangled anything as large a football.

Nonetheless, Wheeler insists, Patriots coach Bill Belichick who is a "known football genius" must have figured out how to quantum entangle the Patriots' footballs with the Colts' footballs.

"Because I'm a specialist in quantum physics I'm always on the lookout for quantum effects like entanglement. And because I was watching the game on an a wide-screen HD TV, I could see that there was some kind of quantum thing going on as soon as [Indianapolis punt returner] Joshua Cribbs fumbled," says Wheeler.

"As the game went on," he continued, "I became more certain. Every time Brady was on target and one of his receivers caught a pass, I could see that the quantum entanglement made Luck's throw off-target, or made the receiver drop it.

"By making the Patriots balls easier to throw, catch, and hold," Wheeler says, "Belichick's quantum entanglement made the Colts footballs harder to throw, catch, and hold. There's some kind of conservation law at work here, and that explains both the Patriots high score and the Colts low one.

Wheeler also believes that quantum entanglement may have made Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount, who scored three touchdowns--two more than the entire Colts team--nearly impossible to tackle.

 "I haven't worked out all the details, yet," Wheeler says, "but I'm quite sure that Blount's touchdowns were caused by some kind of quantum entanglement, and not just his ability as a runner."