Obama innaugurated, nothing changes

More than 50 minutes after Barack Obama took the Presidential oath of office, nothing has changed, according to an exclusive report by The Wolf Report political analyst Daniel Volkmeister.

"This is a bad sign," said Volkmeister. "With expectations running so high, and a campaign built on the need for change, I expected Obama to have already done something. Instead, he wasted the first eighteen minutes of his presidency giving a speech, then sat back and listened to other people talking."

According to administration insiders, Obama may take more than an hour navigating the short distance from the Capitol to the White House. 

"It's only a few blocks," said O'Brien. "I could do it in a couple of minutes. A President who really meant to make changes would be down there already. He's certainly off to a bad start."

Obamibilia jumpstarting the economy

Economists believe that the fast-growing Obamabilia segment--defined by the Department of Commerce as including “any business which manufactures, markets, sells delivers, maintains, or supports Barack Obama memorabilia”--may alone be able to jumpstart the world economy.  

A few years ago Obamabilia was bought only by a few family members and friends in Chicago, Hawaii, Indonesia and Kenya. They bought a few T-shirts or key chains at a time, mostly as jokes. Today an industry has grown that keeps plants running twenty-four hours a day around the world. The segment already employs more than a million workers in the US alone. It’s expected to grow to nearly five million over the next two years.

Not only is the number of companies that Commerce includes in the Obamabilia segment growing rapidly, but their products are expanding in volume, and changing in quality and character as well: from a few companies who manufactured the occasional Obama-branded trinket along with publishers and booksellers for the his first book—which sold poorly until his keynote speech; to a larger set of companies now manufacturing millions of articles of clothing, mugs, glasses, coasters, ornaments, as well as tens of millions bumper stickers, yard signs, and campaign apparel; to publishers, churning out millions of copies of his books, as well books and magazines written about him and written against him; to companies selling commemorative plates, coins, trophies and medallions. 

The latest wave of expansion includes companies working to get contracts to develop Obama branded highways, buildings, and bridges; and even new military hardware—for example, a rebranded B1B called the Obamabomber.

Countries all over the world, are developing their own Obamabilia segments both to meet the needs of their own markets and to increase exports to the United States. “Yes we can” sweatshirts, for example, are available in more than 200 languages and dialects.

“Within six months,” says John Stern, who has tracked the Obamabilia market from its beginning, “one in every three Americans will have a full-time job making, delivering or servicing Obamabilia”

“This is good news for America.”