Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloween release agreeement protects against lawsuits

Worried about your legal exposure this Halloween? You should be.

Halloween has not only become the United States' second largest celebration--only Christmas is bigger--it has also become largest single cause of civil lawsuits, according to Jon Holloway, a Holiday Liability Consultant in Boston, Massachusetts who says that Halloween has now moved moved ahead of both icy steps and vicious dogs as a cause of lawsuits.

But there's a remedy to exposure: “By having each child who comes to your door execute a simple agreement,” says Hallowell, "householders can not only protect themselves, but also protect the children who come to visit.”

With Hallowell’s permission, The Wolf Report has provided its readers with a recommended form of agreement for their use. Readers may freely reproduce and use the agreement, providing that they’ve signed the The Wolf Report Halloween Liability Use Agreement, that will be provided at some future time.



Halloween Liability Agreement

This Halloween Liability Agreement ("Agreement") is entered into by and between ___ _________ ("Trick Or Treater") residing at <child address>_______________________ and("Treater") ____________ dispensing candies, apples and other edibles (“Treats”) at in order to celebrate together certain rites of the secular holiday of Halloween.

WHEREAS: Trick Or Treater has donned a festive costume in hope of eliciting Treats from the Treater; and

WHEREAS: Treater has selected suitable (in Treater’s sole judgment) Treats to be distributed to Trick Or Treaters wearing sufficiently creative costumes (in Treater’s sole judgment) , or who are sufficiently intimidating (in Treater’s sole judgment) to warrant bribery with Treats as a protection against acts of vandalism (“Tricks”);

NOW THEREFORE the parties agree as follows:

  1. Treater warrants that Treater and Treater’s agents have taken reasonable precautions to prevent nuts, products containing nuts, or products with a likelihood of having been contaminated by nuts (“Nutty Products”) from being included in the Treats.
  2. Trick Or Treater understands and agrees that no such effort can be entirely certain and that despite Treater’s reasonable efforts, the Treat may contain Nutty Products or other products which provoke an allergic reaction for Trick Or Treater or other parties with whom Trick or Treater might share the Treat (“Sharers”).
  3. Trick Or Treater agrees to notify Treater of any other allergy or condition which may be exacerbated by consumption or contact with a Treat, as defined herein, by attaching a separate Exhibit: “List of Allergies or Conditions.”
  4. Treater agrees to review any such Exhibit and make reasonable efforts to notify Trick or Treater of any substance in the Treat that may affect Trick Or Treater.
  5. In consideration of this Agreement and any Treats that may be given by Treater to Trick Or Treater under this Agreement, Trick Or Treater agrees to indemnify and hold harmless Treater from any action initiated on behalf of Trick Or Treater or any Sharer to whom Treater has conveyed any part of the Treat, providing said action arises from the Treat, or any of the circumstances of delivery of the Treat, including but not limited to icy steps or vicious dogs.

T AAgreed to this 31 Day of October 2009

Trick Or Treater _____________________ ________________________________________
(signed) (print name, if able to write)

Treater ______________________ _______________________________________
(signed) (print name)


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Afghans import hanging chad


The governement of Afghanistand, confronted with evidence that its presidential election was "blantantly and obviously stolen" has ordered nearly 6 million units of hanging chad, to be used in the upcoming presidential recount.

"Faced with international criticism," said Selim Karzai, cousin to Afghan Presient Hamid Karzai, and chairman of the electoral fraud commitee, "we felt that we would need to steal the next election in a more subtle and sophisticated way. "

After studying numerous stolen elections the commitee hired former Presiential advisor Karl Rove, who recommended using the time-tested hanging chad method. Becuase of the high demand for hanging chad, the order had to be placed before a believable method of attaching the chad to an Afghan ballot (shown in illustration) could be perfected.