Wednesday, July 02, 2008

McCain admits Bill Clinton worse than torture

Under relentless questioning by an entity describing itself as “the spirit of Tim Russert,” presumptive Republican candidate John McCain has acknowledged that being shot down in an airplane, beaten by a crowd of angry Vietnamese, submitting to torture, and dealing with the psychological consequences of his confession as an “air pirate” was “a walk in the park” compared to having to deal with Bill Clinton.

“I don’t know how Obama does it,” said a visibly upset McCain, “and Hillary’s strength of character is beyond anyone’s understanding. If I had to deal with Bill Clinton for even ten minutes I’d sign anything he asked. And if he didn’t leave me alone I’d kill myself after twenty.”

McCain, however was adamant that the ability to deal with Bill Clinton did not quality either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton to be president nor did the inability disqualify McCain. “As President I will be called upon to deal with terrorists, the heads of hostile states like Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as well as terrorist, terrorists, terrorists and terrorists. And I can do it. Just not Bill Clinton.”

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