Facing an almost certain loss in a recent debate with candidate Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton finally found her voice. Turning to her opponent, she said: “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Everything bounces off me, and sticks to you.”
The stunned Obama was silent for a moment, and Clinton made a bold and risky move to press her advantage. She took him by the hand and said: “Touching black, no backs.”
“Clinton’s comment was clearly a racist insult,” said Odell Brown, spokesperson for the Obama campaign following the debate which analysts say that Clinton ultimately won. “Clinton is a racist, should be ashamed of herself.”
“She’s rubber, you’re glue,” said Carpenter Dillon, for the Clinton campaign. “What you just said just bounced off her and it’s sticking to you. So you’re a racist and should be ashamed of yourself. Nya nya. No backs.”
To guard against the rubber-glue strategy being used against her in the election, Clinton has registered herself as rubber and each of her potential Republican opponents as glue with the previously unknown Federal Office of Rubber and Glue, created by her husband during his first term.
The office, with a budget of $100M a year is responsible for enforcing “I’m rubber, you’re glue,” declarations throughout the United States.
It has no jurisdictional power over the rest of the world, and has refused to honor a declaration by Osama bin Laden that he is rubber and that George W. Bush is glue because bin Laden was in a cave in Afghanistan when he said it.
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