Faced with a growing number of human and human-caused problems experts believe that God release Man 2.0 this year, rather than continuing to patch Man 1.x.
“Man 1.x has done well, but it’s really time for an upgrade,” says Brian Maltini, who has spent thirty years disassembling many of God’s creations, including man. “With millions of patches and thousands of service pack releases, man’s remaining bugs are so fundamental that they need the Man 2.0’s architectural changes to be resolved. With its new design, Man 2.0 will be far faster, more reliable, and more secure than Man 1.x.”
“The problems that began with release of Man 1.0 were inevitable,” said Richard Maltz, a Book of Genesis scholar at Bob Jones University. “As we know from the Bible, God was under schedule pressure right from the start. He did a magnificent job nontheless, and by the fourth day he’d finished creating everything but living things. On the fifth day he created the aquatic creatures and the birds but ran into some problems, and did not have time for the land animals. Rather than take a schedule slip, God chose to create both the land animals and man on the same day, and that’s what caused the problems.”
“There’s clear evidence now that problems in man’s scalability and reliability result from shortcuts God took to meet the schedule,” agrees Maltini. “Man 1.0 was not stress-tested nor were there any volume tests. It’s no surprise that as world population has grown from just two to many billions, and as the world has become a more complex and stress-filled place, that serious bugs in Man 1.x continue to appear.”
Maltini believes that God will roll the new release out in phases starting next month. But some, including American Christian radio host Harold Camping, believe that God intends to take down the entire system on October 21, 2011 and will install Man 2.0 at that time.
