The Chicago Board of Trade (CBOT), which manages the nation’s commodity markets, has launched the nation’s first stupidity futures market. The market will regulate and standardize the purchase and sale of future stupidity.
“The demand for stupidity during the current election is already at an all time high,” said Bjork Bjornson, an open market stupidity trader. “More and more people are looking for 30-second answers to increasing complex questions, and that requires stupidity on all sides.”
“We’ve also seen that the candidate who says the stupidest things often gets elected,” he continued, “so we can expect the demand for stupidity to go up as the election gets closer.”
“For example, we see the Democratic candidates using large amounts of stupidity against their primary opponents rather than Republicans; that takes a special kind of stupidity. And we see from futures contracts that the Republicans are planning for a huge surge in stupidity on their own as critical primaries approach.”
“What should investors do?” We asked him.
“Invest in stupidity,” he replied. “It’s going to be in demand like never before.”
1 comment:
After reading this article, I just modified my 401(k) invest 100% in stupidity. I won't divulge my source, but there are rumors that stupidity is expected to continually shatter record highs in the near future.
I jus prey it duznt effect i.
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