Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Manilow no longer Barry

by Special Correspondent Matt

The Artist Formerly Known as Barry Manilow (TAFKABM) has revealed that like his presidential choice, Barack Obama, he is sick of the name Barry. He will release his next album, “Don’t Call Me Barry” under his new stage name, Barack Opincus.

Just after his bar mitzvah the former Manilow changed both his instrument—from accordion to piano—and his name—from Pincus to his mother's maiden name, Manilow. “Pincus is a good name for an accordion player,” he told a friend, “but Barry Pincus will never perform a #1 song, fill a concert hall with swooning gray-haired ladies, or even get laid. Barry Manilow will do them all.”

TAFKABM says Obama inspired him to make the latest change. “Names matter,” he said, “and you’ve got to move with the times. Barry Bama could have kept his original name and gone on to be a basketball player, if he could make the moves, or a pop star, if he could write the songs. But he couldn't be president. By changing his name to Barack Obama, well, yes he can.”

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