Obama campaign re-clarifies “bitter” remarks

In an exclusive interview with The Wolf Report an unnamed, anonymous, unofficial representative of the Obama campaign clarified the previous clarification by an unnamed semi-official representative of the campaign of the earlier clarification by a campaign spokesman of Obama’s own clarification of his recent remarks after their initial obfuscation by opponent Hillary Rodham Clinton and further confusion, restatement, misquotation, and perversion of those remarks by named and unnamed, anonymous and attributed, official, semi-official, and unofficial representatives of the Clinton, McCain, Nader and emerging bin Laden campaigns (see story).

“Senator Obama was not referring to all small-town Americans when he made remarks referring to ‘bitter’ small-town voters who ‘cling to guns and religion,’ nor was he referring to just Republican small-town voters as stated in the second re-clarification, nor was he referring to Republican voters in a particular small town, as explained in the fifth. He was in fact referring a growing number of voters, who have now filed affidavits stating their position. I will read one of them, for the record: ‘I, Emmett J. Hoskins am a bitter small town voter. I cling bitterly to my gun, my religion, my family, my race, and my dog. I hate NAFTA, black people, and pretty much anybody from out of town. Nevertheless I will vote for Barack Obama in November because he stands up for people like me, because he is not afraid to say politically stupid things, and because he will pay me once elected president by enacting programs that will help me and bitter, small town, gun-toting, small-minded, bible thumping racists like me.’”

“I hope this puts the matter to rest.”